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I felt guilty when I kicked my Uncle Tom
And I felt guilty when I hollered at my Mom
I felt guilty when I goosed Amanda Sue
And you know that I felt guilty when I called it quits with Mary
And when I broke up with Teri and when I walked out on Shari
And when I left Henrietta and the time I stayed together
With Loretta when I should have said weíre through
But I felt great when I said goodbye to you

I feel guilty when I wake up after eleven
And I felt guilty wearin rubber pants when I was seven
I feel guilty when my books are overdue
And you know that I feel guilty every time that I am late
And every time I break a date and when I fail to clean my plate
And every time that I eat meat and when I forget to wash my feet
And I feel guilty in most everything I do
But I felt great when I said goodbye to you

I felt guilty when I tried to pick you up
And I felt guilty when I lied to your puppy
I feel guilty when there ainít no reason to
And you know that I feel guilty every time I walk down the sidewalk
Knowin that in every step I take Iím probably killin
Half a million microorganisms and probably three or four ants and maybe even a couple of worms
And I feel guilty in most everything I do
But it felt just wonderful to step on you

I feel guilty for singin this dumb song
And I feel guilty that I bored you all so long
And I feel guilty for not askin everybody to sing along
And you know that I feel guilty for feelin guilty for feelin guilty
For feelin guilty for feelin guilty for feelin guilty for feelin guilty
When I know I shouldnít feel guilty but I do
But my conscience was as peaceful as spring clover
And my heart was warm all over
When I said goodbye to you